Just finished my Crossfit intro session. I am dead.

That was fucking hard!

So I tried on some summer clothes today…

And it wasn’t pretty.  I wanted to try everything on before I packed for Vegas so I knew what fits.  I knew some things would be tight, but I didn’t think it would be as bad as it was.  My shorts and pants from the summer don’t fit.  My jeans that used to be loose won’t do up.  I knew I gained weight- the scale said it and I could feel it on my body.  But I didn’t think it was that bad. 

Whenever I saw people talk about gaining back weight they lost, I always said that wouldn’t be me.  I knew that I worked too hard to gain it back.  Well, I was wrong.  I could sling about excuses- it was Christmas, I had a death in the family- but I won’t.  I gained weight because I ate too much and didn’t work out, and now I’m paying for it. 

I let myself feel sorry for myself for about 2 hours, and then I decided that it wasn’t going to happen again.  No more gaining.  No more.

WIW: The Starting Over [again] Edition

Starting Weight: 225 
Last WIW: 180 (previous starting weight)
Current Weight: 178
Goal Weight: 140 
Total loss: 47 pounds

I really don’t think I can put into words how painful it is to go back and read my old WIW posts.  I celebrated my 50 pound loss in November of 2010, and 2011 was really just a shit-show for me.  I got confident, got cocky, and got comfortable.  And it has affected me on the scale.  I can’t believe that I let myself go backwards in this process.  I could blame it on the holidays, on being busy or on a death in the family.  But really, all I have to blame is myself.

So, this is it.  I’m sick of making “starting over” posts.  I’m sick of seeing the 170’s.  I’m sick of my clothes not fitting.  I’ve been back on track since last Monday, and I will be on track until I see 140 on that scale.  Yes, I wanted to be down for my trip to Vegas, but I realize that that isn’t what is important.  Slow and steady really does win the race, so that’s how I’m going to take it.  Slow and steady.  And I will reach 140 this year.  So help me God.

Weigh-A-Day…

Is over.  I fluctuate wayyyy too much on a daily basis for this process to be helpful to me.  All it does is give me major mood swings: euphoria when I lose a pound, misery when I gain.  I’m going back to weighing in once a week for my sanity.

Oh, and I’m coming up hard on shark week which is causing me to be a massive bitch combined with bouts of hating my life.  I love being a girl.